Love is Perfected in us. 

‘No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us. ‘

1 John 4:12

The word “perfected” speaks to the action of making something complete or mature, and  in this scripture, what is being perfected is God’s love. This phrasing, “his love is perfected in us”  as “we love one another” implies that God’s love is made complete or mature here on this earth through us, through mankind. The idea that the Apostle John, in his latter years of his life, is leaving with the growing and struggling church, is that in order for people to experience the perfected love of God here on this earth, His love must live in and flow through people. 

Essentially, though God is perfect and his love is perfect, the love of God cannot be fully experienced on this earth, perfected,  without us. 

Can you imagine that as powerful and as special as God’s love is, He has chosen to make it impossible for someone to experience it fully without us?

The Lord very intentionally factored us in the equation, and he chose to partner with us, here on this earth, so that all of mankind can experience his love. This scripture is saying that to experience the perfected love of God, love cannot exist only in a supernatural, private and personal experience with the God “no one has ever seen,” but the perfection of his love is manifested here on this earth through relationship and community… through us loving one another! 

I know it seems simple and even very foundational. I know, we get it, but sometimes I think we can passively cut ourselves out of the equation because we think that we are not that important and that if God wanted people to feel loved, then he would just do it. But the reality is, He chose to make our love toward one another a vital component  to the way His  love is experienced here on earth.

You matter!

Not just for how people show you love or how you are able to experience His love, but for how love is perfected in you as you love others. 

It is wild to think that the divine creator  would be so intentional to ask such flawed people to hold such a vital role. The caveat here is that in order for us to play this role, it absolutely cannot be something we do in our own strength, out of our own goodness, or our own kindness. We need to know God’s way of loving others because when we rely on our own methods we can easily become exhausted, defeated, and disappointed. 

John explains “God’s way” as he recollected the powerful words of Christ in his gospel account,

“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love”

John 15:9

Jesus is telling them that He knew the love of the Father, and from that love, He loved people… He loved John, He loved us. In this scripture Jesus encourages the people to “abide” in His love, then later in the chapter He commands the people to love one another. He is showing that the way to love is to first abide. Abide means to sit in it, to rest in it, to move in it, to LIVE in it. In this passage of John 15, the word abide is used at least nine times.  This is significant because it shows that Lord Jesus doesn’t want his people to gloss over this part of His love.

He knows that loving is hard. He knows what it feels like to be rejected and talked about… He knows the pain of being misunderstood and overlooked.  He understood that we would wrestle with loving others. Because, in theory, love is all rainbows and butterflies, but in reality, loving is hard. It is hard for a lot of reasons, reasons that can surely justify a “get out of jail free card” when it comes to loving others, especially those who are hard to love.  Some of these reasons can be hurt, pain, abuse, fear, and rejection; yet Jesus pairs the instructions to love with the admonition to abide in His love first. Our ability and our willingness to abide in his love directly affects our ability to love others and for His love to be perfected.

Our ability to love others like Jesus loved, authentically and unselfishly, is not hinged on our demeanor or personality or trauma, but it is connected to us abiding daily in His love. Abiding is more than an encounter or a feeling, it is choosing to love, declaring the truth of His love, it is building up our faith to believe that we are worthy of love.  

Good indicators of areas in our own lives that have not been permeated by the love of God are the people or circumstances that most challenge our ability to give love.   

For example, if you have a hard time giving financially to others or and showing love with your money, it is usually an indicator that when it comes to your finances you have not allowed God’s love to abide there.  There is still, possibly, a blockage in your life that says, “I don’t really know if God loves me enough to cover my money,” or “ I don’t know if I really trust that God cares about my finances, even though He knows I have needs.”  This is likely an area in your life to take to the Lord and search His Word to show you how He loves you in that area.  

Then abide in that truth, abide in His love for you and His care for your worldly needs.  

Because He truly loves us, and there are no areas that are off limits.  

When you do this watch how this dramatically changes how you give and how you love others with your finances. 

What does abiding God and in God’s love look like for you?

If you find yourself wrestling with loving someone, is it possible that there is an area in your life that you have not let God’s love into?

Please trust that God’s love is unfailing. God wants us to face our fears and love others passionately, but it will not be at our expense. It may be hard and it may hurt a little (or a lot) but when we love with His love, we are filled! We are not left high and dry. We live a life free, unapologetically loved by our creator, and with an awareness that we are in His perfect will as His love is perfected in us!